California legislators want to raise your kids for you

“Welcome to ‘Kidifornia.’ It’s super fun for parents,” says the commercial child actor in Visit California’s newest TV spot. This is followed by a barrage of focus-group-approved and ethnically diverse children listing out all the ways to help your parents behave during their California vacation.

“Schedule lots of activities,” says the Asian teenage girl. “And naps, they get cranky,” says a little ginger boy reading off a cue card at Golden Gate Park. “Keep ‘em on a short leash,” warns yet another Asian girl.

“You just gotta let parents be parents,” the exasperated rainbow-heart-wearing white-boy-transitioning-into-a-girl tells us as her parents dance in the background like…well…white people.

This last line seems like just another clever little line written by some snarky copywriter in the Bay Area. And maybe it’s just that. But I can’t help but sense a more ominous threat from the boy-girl’s message.

In my last article, we kicked off the Sayonara series with S.B. 54: one of many senate bills signed into California state law that will officially make California a ‘sanctuary state’ as of January 1, 2018. As I mentioned in that piece, the People’s Republic of California is quickly sealing its fate as the first state in the Union to actually flood itself with so many illegal immigrants that it snaps off from its bordering states and floats out to sea; ironically, just like the many illegal aliens did to get there in the first place.

Cubans on a raft
An artist’s rendering of California in the year 2025.

But for this piece, I wanted to shift the spotlight towards another new bill that focuses on the kids. After all, Kidifornia (very lazy puns make me surprisingly angry) has got to be a great place to grow up, right?

S.B. 18

Richard Pan is a pediatrician who moonlights as a state senator. Who else is better equipped to dictate our children’s future than this guy? He was called a “hero” by TIME magazine after he sponsored the 2016 law that eliminated “personal belief” exemptions from statue immunization requirements for children enrolled in school or day care. Take that, Jenny McCarthy.

Introduced last December by Pan, S.B. 18 entered into the lives and vocabulary of Californians as the “Bill of Rights for Children and Youth in California.” Well, hey now. That sounds just fine and dandy, don’t it?

Children are just little adults when you really think about it. Why shouldn’t they have the same rights as us grown-folk? If the bill were to outwardly demand that children should be able to get behind the Big Wheel at the age of five, get hammered at the bar with their nannies by the age of six, and god forbid be able to rent a car before the age of 25, you’d hear a loud objection from me.

But it doesn’t.

S.B. 18 seems pretty harmless on the surface. Pan’s seven-point list of rights goes on to declare that “all children and youth” have a right to “appropriate, quality healthcare,” to “social and emotional well-being,” to “appropriate, quality education and life skills leading to self-sufficiency in adulthood,” and to “opportunities to attain optimal cognitive, physical, and social development”

What Californian wouldn’t want children to have a healthy upbringing?

Michael Jackson singing
Too soon?

But critics of this new bill are saying, “Quiet…too quiet…” They say it’s a threat to parental authority, gun rights, homeschooling and health freedom.

I know, I know. Pipe down, you crazy conservatives. The Democrats just want your children to have a quality life. Stop being so un-Californian, man.

Plus, S.B. 18 merely declares the legislature’s intent to do something, which is to develop and fund “research-based policy solutions that will ensure the Bill of Rights for Children and Youth in California, in its totality, is applied, evenly, equitably, and appropriately to all children and youth across the state.”

Do you like, hate equality, dude? If you read the fine print, this bill isn’t even going to do anything until its potentially enacted by January 1, 2022.

Okay, but now my spidey senses are going off a bit. Why sign a bill into place that simply says it may enact itself into legislation in four years? In the words of Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting: “Ya suspect.”

Call me a cynical guy, but maybe, just maybe, the bill is written in a oh-so-clever way so that it doesn’t draw a lot of attention. Maybe it’s a sly way for the Democrats to one day be able to control what goes on inside your home.

Much like Canada’s anti-Islamophobia law that can remove children from their home if mommy and daddy don’t like Muslims, S.B. 18 acts in a way that could quickly “make the State the top-dog controlling force over all children in California.”

At a glance, who would argue against children having “appropriate, quality health care?” Well, what if that means the State deems your child should chop his weiner off because he thinks he’s a girl one summer afternoon? You disagree and all of a sudden the government says you’re denying your child “quality health care.”

At a glance, who would argue a child doesn’t have the “right to live in a safe and healthy environment?” Well, when California legislators finally outlaw firearms, guess who’s coming for your kids when they find out Pa still has a shotgun hidden behind the dresser?

At a glance, surely no one would dare say a child shouldn’t have the right to “optimal cognitive, physical and social development?” Oh, you homeschool your kids? And you raised them as Christian? You freak. Say your goodbyes. The kids are coming with us to learn about atheism and tentacle porn like a real American.

This is some Trojan horse kinda bullshit. The Left, as it often does, charades itself as the protectors of the weak, the unprotected, and the disenfranchised. People let their guard down for a SECOND, and before you know it you’re in court facing ten years in the slammer for not crying hard enough at Caitlyn Jenner’s speech at the ESPYs. (Arthur Ashe Courage award, my ass.)

And where do these Democrats get off (bad way to start that sentence) by deciding what constitutes as best for millions of families? Do they even have kids? That’d be like me telling a liberal how to dress their cat in its holiday sweater. I don’t have a cat. I don’t own a holiday sweater. Therefore, I am not qualified to dole out advice on how to make your cat look like a dumbass.

Angry cat wearing ugly Christmas sweater
“You…did this.”

As of 2006, there was a fertility gap between Republicans and Democrats of forty-one percent! More recently, there are reports of a large baby boom from Republicans when Trump won the election (meaning a lot of babies, not a lot of “large babies”). Perhaps California Democrats realized they’re getting outbred by their mortal enemies and decided if they can’t beat them, and they can’t bring themselves to bring children into “Trump’s America,” they’ll simply rule over them.

Did you know there are more dogs in San Francisco than children? Yeah, I wasn’t surprised either. In order to reach its progressive utopia, California must take control of any and all children they can. S.B. 18 is just one more way to get there.

While this certainly isn’t the most outright alarming senate bill passed this fall. It could have one of the biggest impacts if it stays alive through 2022. If you’re a Republican, or just a sane human being living in California, I urge you to pay attention to what the sneak-thief Leftists are up to over there.

Kidifornia is at stake.

Be on the lookout for part 3 of the Sayonara California series posting next week.

Missed part 1? Read it here.

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