Why I’m Thankful for Donald J. Trump

If you’re reading this, you either clicked on it because you’re a fan of Donald Trump, or you’re so triggered by the mere mention of him that you just had to see how anyone could like America’s cheetoh-haired, racist, sexist, xenophobic Führer in Chief.

Welcome, both of you.

It’s hard to get a gauge on Trump’s popularity these days. The same people who said he’d lose 98% – 2% in the 2016 election are now saying that he has a horrendous approval rating. Excuse me if I don’t trust your data.

Every celebrity (not censored by the fake news media) dramatically virtue signals against everything the man says. I’m half-convinced he could come out tomorrow and say, “Today I decree that raping women is a horrible thing to do” and the Left would suddenly start defending rapists.

Al Franken squeezing woman's breast while she sleeps
Oh, wait. That’s happening now.

Today is the one-year, two-week and one-day anniversary of Russia hacking our election and digitally-securing Trump’s presidential election over the American people. Seems like only yesterday, right? This fire-tipped, Islamophobic bigot has spewed great vats of hatred onto the planet over that time period, but yet, here we are. Alive. Well. Making America Great Again.

There has never been a POTUS in our nation’s history that has seen such disdain and general pushback than Donny J. The Left hates him because he doesn’t play by their bullshit rules. The Right hates him because he’s dismembering the neo-conservative house of cards they’ve been hastily building for three decades. Thus, the insurgence of the Alt-Right and other off-brand political parties are starting to take the center stage. We are “Trump’s base,” as mainstream media likes to arrogantly remind us daily.

So, what has this man done in the last year and change? He’s faced almost every obstacle imaginable, with Congress throwing weekly temper tantrums, and the media shitting their pants with every tweet he twits. It’s amazing he’s gotten anything done, to be honest.

Despite all the landmines placed in his way, I truly believe Trump has made this country, this culture, and this planet a better place since he’s taken office.

Here are all the reasons I’m thankful for Donald J. Trump:

Decreased Immigration

While our neighbors to the North gladly let in 300,000 immigrants this past year, decreasing immigration was one of Donald Trump’s primary presidential promises. In his first month, we saw a decrease in illegal immigration on our Southern border by 40%.

While big-city mayors assure their illegal aliens they can find sanctuary within their cities, Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions have gone to work. The Left has done a wonderful job of portraying Trump’s rhetoric as dangerous. It’s worked so well, in fact, that aliens are much more hesitant to cross the border. Seeing as 70% of illegal immigrants immediately go on welfare, draining this country’s resources and giving a big middle finger to its legal residents, this couldn’t make me happier.

Trump also plans to cut legal immigration by half. “But this is a nation of immigrants!” Yeah, and along the way we created borders and deemed ourselves a country. With laws. Finally; a president who cares more about American citizens than the citizens of the world.

Let us feast!

Travel Bans

Our immigration and visa program is broken. If a new CEO were to come into a company and see that his logistics department was working ineffectively and inefficiently, it’d be natural to shut things down and reassess. Now, imagine if 10% of the logistics department employees thought that disrespecting the Qu’ran should be punishable by death…

Sorry, this analogy got away from me.

But when Trump decides to take a look at an inefficient process in our government, especially when it could potentially let in terrorists who want to hack us all to death with machetes, he’s deemed “xenophobic” and “racist.

We’re thankful for Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, who was Trump’s pick to take back SCOTUS. It took awhile, but finally Gorscuh helped us silence that pesky Asian judge in Hawaii who kept blocking Trump from protecting this country.

Pass the salt, please.

Defeating ISIS

This could be an entire article in itself, but for now, we’ll just say that ISIS is getting their collective butts handed to them in Syria and Iraq.

We finally get a POTUS who promises to lead with an iron fist, and one of the most terrible terrorist organizations in the world quickly begins to demoralize and fall apart.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, CNN.

Can you please pass the cranberries?

The First Ladies

Since Jackie Kennedy, no sitting First Lady has ever made a head turn. Although liberals will tell you Michelle Obama is some hot, foxy lady, in reality, she’s quite mannish and looks like she could bench press her husband.

Michelle Obama flexing her muscles.

Melania is a European beauty, and Trump’s daughters are gorgeous. Honestly, even if they were ugly, hairy trolls found under a bridge in DC, it wouldn’t affect this country’s policies and laws. That being said, it’s nice having some very attractive people in the White House.

Green bean casserole? Don’t mind if I do!

Media Beatdown

Goodness gracious, 2017 has been fun!

For decades, the media elite and their cronies have been so insulated by liberal and neo-conservative administrations, they’ve gotten lazy. Here comes along a billionaire real estate mogul and reality TV star and starts to pick you off, one-by-one.

“But you’re supposed to be one of us!” They sneered.

Again, Trump promised us he would destroy the media and all those who “aren’t loyal.” Immediately, ratings begin to drop, subscriptions dry up, and best of all, the cocky, corrupt, and soulless Hollywood liberals are getting destroyed by rape allegations.

Can you pass the stuffing?

Nationalism Surge

“Make America Great Again” was such a genius line. It made many people scratch their heads and go, “Oh yeah…this country kinda sucks now. It’d sho’ be nice if we could fix that.”

Since Obama took office, the West has been publicly apologizing for being awesome over the last few centuries. Sure, a lot of bad people did bad things, but overall, the last 3 centuries have been pretty incredible.

But because some Native Americans got killed and some Muslims lost some land, we should throw the baby out with the bath water? The world works by people conquering other people. If we don’t conquer those people, they’ll conquer us instead. It’s not a Disney movie. It’s civilization.

Trump has reminded us that we should be proud to be Americans, and to not feel sorry for being born here (or for the color of our skin). I could argue he’s also inspired a nationalist movement on a global scale that was the catalyst for Brexit and the collapse of the EU.

More gravy, please.

Destroying the GOP

The Left thinks about most things in black and white, so it’s no surprise they still think Trump and his base are basic bitch Republicans. There are three main political parties right now: the Democrats, the GOP, and Trump.

The Bush-era neo-conservatives are dying out, both literally and figuratively. The John McCains and Lindsey Grahams of the GOP are showing their true colors with each move Trump makes. Republicans who have cried loud and proud about taxes, healthcare, gun rights and other Republican staple issues are now revealing that all they care about is furthering a globalist agenda.

The head of the snake has been severed, and now we’re witnessing as its body lashes out in frantic movements. Violent, but awesome.


So, yeah. Donald Trump has done a lot in his first nine months, with seemingly insurmountable opposition. I pray he can do even more as his opposition grows tired or gets fired. I’m certain he will.

That’s why, this Thanksgiving, I’m very serious when I say:

“I’m thankful for Donald Trump.”


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